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HJKM

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HJKM
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 March 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 217
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About HJKM : Shy in real life, but overly assertive and opinionated online. Animal and music lover. Obsessed with Harry Potter.

HJKM's last visitors

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Judgmental

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Consolation prize

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HJKM's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (2383)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32266) - you deserved it (2653)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (9208)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41033) - you deserved it (3572)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend turned down a job that would have more than doubled his income because he didn't want to upset his current boss by quitting. FML

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36381) - you deserved it (2622)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40746) - you deserved it (2448)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (3454)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

#21108820
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44555) - you deserved it (2736)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (2842)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

#21106030
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41489) - you deserved it (2563)

On 04/06/2014 at 3:37pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my mom brought her sleazy boyfriend home. He took one look at me, swatted my ass, and said, "It runs in the family." My mom just laughed and winked at me, and mouthed, "He's a keeper!" FML

#21103666
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50718) - you deserved it (3224)

On 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm - love - by wiona (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

#21103236
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38873) - you deserved it (3098)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)



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