HARRAMTE

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HARRAMTE

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 964
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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HARRAMTE's page activity

Visits<b>Danyellstar</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 8:48pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 11:33am<b>diegoer</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 8:39am<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 8:31am<b>jerzjay</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 11:39pm<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 9:25pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 2:53pm<b>goodoldave</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 2:07pm<b>Havin</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 8:44pm<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 2:22pm<b>diversgal2</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 9:24am<b>larson15</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 3:22pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 1:46pm<b>beavertree</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 2:54pm<b>PowerF</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 11:03pm<b>boudin227</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:04pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 10:24pm<b>crackmore278</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 6:37pm

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HARRAMTE's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

by AyoitsSteveo / 05/24/2009 at 5:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

by emkaycutie / 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

by Creep / 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

by biggmouth / 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

by HughGorgy / 03/20/2009 at 1:37am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

by myennechee / 03/18/2009 at 1:22am / Germany (Hamburg) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 6:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm / United States / Love

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

by natty / 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

by Mulee / 03/07/2009 at 7:03am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Intimacy

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

by Mike / 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Geek

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

by PlayTag / 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Intimacy