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HARRAMTE's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
by Wannabees / 04/03/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 2:22am / Germany (Sachsen) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 4:10pm / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
by unsatisfied / 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Absent / 01/12/2010 at 12:42am / France / Miscellaneous
by chocolaterabbit / 11/02/2009 at 7:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by userrrrr / 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by screwed.over / 10/10/2009 at 7:21pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by kat9232000 / 06/19/2009 at 12:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…