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About Guy247bp : My name is Garrett.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (6759)
On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (15513)
On 08/23/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by diesel444 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12944) - you deserved it (1436)
On 01/15/2010 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (99700)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44070) - you deserved it (2231)
On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59312) - you deserved it (143994)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (445450) - you deserved it (30118)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (255554) - you deserved it (35230)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48997) - you deserved it (1890)
On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by nannynomore (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58253) - you deserved it (1872)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:03pm - health - by toothache (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40325) - you deserved it (10796)
On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44494) - you deserved it (517574)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50493) - you deserved it (283634)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (166979) - you deserved it (33331)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got stoned at a party for the first time. On the drive home I sat at an intersection waiting for the green light for few minutes. I finally realized the green light was never coming. So did the cop behind me. I was at a stop sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10170) - you deserved it (60254)
On 02/21/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (California)
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