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Guuurlplease

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Guuurlplease

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  • Number of visits : 4257
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>PrincessJelly12</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 5:28pm<b>VHNox</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:44pm<b>RedAlert0</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 5:56pm<b>Iwannabetreo</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 5:46pm<b>hararah99</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 1:49am<b>RivalSeal</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 7:14pm<b>anonymoususer24</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 9:45pm<b>mego019</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 5:02pm

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Guuurlplease's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (5514)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (4988)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (1774)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

#8602827
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8860) - you deserved it (21630)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

#8598142
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21441) - you deserved it (2805)

On 02/23/2010 at 8:26pm - misc - by susan - United States (Michigan)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

#8592124
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12901) - you deserved it (39662)

On 02/23/2010 at 5:10pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

#8587939
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7464) - you deserved it (31176)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm - kids - by geeb - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24689) - you deserved it (3081)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, on Facebook, I joined a group called "I want our relationship to last." My boyfriend commented "I don't." FML

#8586322
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (5884)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:28am - love - by kal (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (5247)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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