Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Guuurlplease

Search for a member

Guuurlplease
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3198
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Guuurlplease's last visitors

RedAlert0Iwannabetreo

Guuurlplease's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Guuurlplease's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (2385)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (7374)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought Plan B for the first time. Not because I had unprotected sex, but to make the cashier think someone would actually sleep with me. FML

#8658890
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9713) - you deserved it (35683)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

#8658331
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9218) - you deserved it (17122)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:10am - misc - by princess4242 (woman) - India (Delhi)

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

#8658326
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19562) - you deserved it (5811)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:09am - misc - by ilovecowboys (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to yell out "Pass us the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

#8658018
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21138) - you deserved it (5385)

On 02/26/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by UnfortunateGirly (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18922) - you deserved it (2908)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States

Today, I found out all the money my dad has been saving in the bank for me since birth has all been spent, by my mother who I haven't seen or talked to in about two years. FML

#8654790
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25484) - you deserved it (1385)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:04am - money - by Julia - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

#8638968
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36847) - you deserved it (2149)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by grossuncle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

#8637301
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12658) - you deserved it (27447)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:39am - money - by compguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

#8634808
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18568) - you deserved it (3077)

On 02/25/2010 at 6:46am - misc - by SayWhat (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

#8634063
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (35541)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

#8632694
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (2456)

On 02/25/2010 at 2:05am - misc - by thewordsicantsay (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I heard a rumor about myself going around my high school that I am pregnant, I've dropped out of school, and that my belly is showing. I'm not actually pregnant. I've been severely depressed, so I've missed a few days of school and I've been eating too much apparently. FML

#8630946
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22304) - you deserved it (3520)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by mainey92 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

#8622338
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16052) - you deserved it (5048)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:57pm - work - by Herman - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: