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Guuurlplease

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Guuurlplease
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3220
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (5409)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16908) - you deserved it (7654)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16908) - you deserved it (7654)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

#13800215
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20906) - you deserved it (2521)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:27am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML

#13799925
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5855) - you deserved it (34615)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:34am - intimacy - by Caught (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

#13799355
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8473) - you deserved it (36710)

On 11/11/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by latino (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54403) - you deserved it (3073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me that I appear to have gained some weight. After realizing that it made me feel depressed, he tried to make me feel better by making love to me. I decided to go with it. While doing so, he paused and said "I'm sorry baby, but your weight is too much pressure for my back." FML

#13798664
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (6920)

On 11/11/2010 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

#13771276
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/08/2010 at 10:36pm - money - by Jen - Australia

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

#13766366
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39129) - you deserved it (7866)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm - misc - by beforegirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

#13762266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (4915)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML

#13762252
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (3352)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:48am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML

#13525435
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (7319)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:41pm - love - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

#12880728
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9563) - you deserved it (24959)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

#12879183
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28811) - you deserved it (4357)

On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)



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