Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Gurior

Search for a member

Gurior

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1378
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Gurior's page activity

Visits<b>skierak97</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:36am<b>DedicatedNova</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:59pm<b>tessabrooke06</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 7:10am<b>ninjaswaggy</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 6:23am<b>LaxBro19</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:52pm<b>haw008</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 12:35am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:05pm<b>odod777</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 10:38am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 8:03am<b>jordinaelise</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 10:10am<b>kooldinosaur4427</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 6:47pm<b>neeena94</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 1:29pm<b>wellithappens</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 8:31pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 6:10pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 5:12pm<b>BrittyHope</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 12:55am<b>native_susana</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 5:55pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 4:45pm

Gurior's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Gurior's badges

Gurior's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired from my volunteer job. Why? Because they said I was working so hard and doing such a good job that I was making the real staff look bad. FML

Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML

#3457601
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49102) - you deserved it (3438)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss hired a feng shui consultant for our small office space. I am the only full-time employee besides the owners, and I work as an unpaid intern. My company would rather pay someone to rearrange my desk than pay me to work at it. FML

#3122883
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40900) - you deserved it (3868)

On 06/22/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by Goldo (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67380) - you deserved it (4379)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

#2821458
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69576) - you deserved it (3741)

On 06/12/2009 at 1:33am - work - by Shoes (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
819 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119737) - you deserved it (74047)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63365) - you deserved it (3266)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68150) - you deserved it (7646)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML

#2138736
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10474) - you deserved it (74306)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32020) - you deserved it (141814)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (429268) - you deserved it (59833)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

#1767727
693 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15961) - you deserved it (239804)

On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60970) - you deserved it (2882)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: