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Gum

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Gum
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1601
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Gum's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60740) - you deserved it (25390)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left for taking a piss. FML

#2569917
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38328) - you deserved it (3791)

On 06/03/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by peeepeee. - United States (Ohio)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15124) - you deserved it (43857)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69257) - you deserved it (179856)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I flew from Chicago to San Francisco to get some of my stuff out of a storage unit. I left the keys for the padlock at home. FML

#2530639
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18432) - you deserved it (46683)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by Tom (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31740) - you deserved it (49744)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21276) - you deserved it (73250)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

#2271670
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43817) - you deserved it (2707)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:14am - work - by EMT_Koulianos (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124098) - you deserved it (13812)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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