Gum

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Gum

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2576
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Gum's page activity

Visits<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 3:56am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:50pm

Gum's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Gum's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

by notthedad / 03/15/2011 at 11:50am / China / Love

Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML

by EwokLover17 / 03/13/2010 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

by watersport / 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

by fml1977 / 03/04/2010 at 1:43am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML

by M95 / 03/03/2010 at 2:11pm / Norway (More og Romsdal) / Kids

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

by Username / 03/03/2010 at 11:34am / Health

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

by Username / 03/03/2010 at 11:34am / Health

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

by aaalias34 / 02/26/2010 at 6:13am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

by grrrr / 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 5:16am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2009 at 2:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

by anonymouschicka / 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Work

Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML

by stupid / 07/07/2009 at 2:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

by EmployeeOfTheMonth / 06/27/2009 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids