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Gum

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Gum
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1600
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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Gum's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52664) - you deserved it (5064)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48011) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML

#9037233
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3347) - you deserved it (26533)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:16am - misc - by EwokLover17 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

#8972431
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25455) - you deserved it (3461)

On 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by watersport (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19053) - you deserved it (6576)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML

#8799499
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28798) - you deserved it (4189)

On 03/03/2010 at 2:11pm - kids - by M95 (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4208) - you deserved it (14748)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4208) - you deserved it (14748)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (7375)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (2209)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

#7736774
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30869) - you deserved it (11995)

On 01/31/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

#6364949
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6627) - you deserved it (23834)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML

#4208368
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7936) - you deserved it (46085)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by anonymouschicka (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML

#3555384
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5503) - you deserved it (48489)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

#3267231
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37255) - you deserved it (16106)

On 06/27/2009 at 3:03am - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth (man) - United States (California)



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