GuidoCheese

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GuidoCheese

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 June 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1550
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GuidoCheese : I'm mostly here for my daily dose of FMLS.
Cool Facts about me: My name is Mar Gyavellii, Spaniard and Italian with some New York(lol). I worked as a Blackjack Dealer. Majoring in English and Science.. Taurus/Gemini Cusp. Currently Studying to be an anesthesiologist and Entrepreneur. Great cook since I'm Italian and Spaniard :)
I'm where I'm at because my wonderful mom who raised me by herself worked hard for me; I work hard to take care of my mom and younger siblings.

GuidoCheese's page activity

Visits<b>Arieslink</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:50pm<b>YodaMyNameIs</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:55pm<b>OohhKillEm</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:23am<b>babetgirl</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:05pm<b>sophieeee139</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:07pm<b>najraa</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Kamikazeenie</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:21am<b>LovelessAlex</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:57pm<b>ilokajkid1369</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:11am<b>Chanti</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 5:30pm<b>amazingnicole</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:20pm<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 8:42pm<b>LOCO0099</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 11:00am<b>Sonychka</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 2:55am<b>KendraLaine</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 7:02pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 2:07am<b>MikeyKenneth</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 4:52pm<b>kewlstoribro</b> - the 06/27/2011 at 5:44pm

GuidoCheese's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

GuidoCheese's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

by ravenskater / 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm / Kids

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I managed to convince the girl of my dreams to stop being so shy, and put herself out there to get her crush to make a move. It worked. And yet as it turns out, I'm not her crush after all. FML

by heartbroken / 03/29/2011 at 8:15pm / United States / Love

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

by -_- / 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

by jaimie / 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

by WhyMe? / 03/01/2011 at 8:24am / Intimacy

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

by bitchyskier / 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML

by missbrit / 02/04/2011 at 2:59am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Intimacy

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I popped a zit and I went to put my acne medicine on it. It's in a clear bottle with a blue cap, just like the nearby nailpolish remover. I grabbed the wrong one. FML

by inseriouspain / 08/22/2010 at 5:20pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

by one_BAMF / 07/25/2010 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Health