Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

GuessWhatKids

Search for a member

GuessWhatKids

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2693
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GuessWhatKids : I like weed and underground hip hop. If my comment was bad or pissed you off, good. The hivemind tendencies here in FML are so ridiculous that I consider even the most outrageous comments beneficial simply for their deviation from the norm. More people hop on bandwagons here than Reddit, amazingly.

GuessWhatKids's page activity

Visits<b>WubStep_</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:33am<b>diglettdig</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:14pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:44pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:46am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:15am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:56pm<b>CynicallyAlive</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:44pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 6:39pm<b>VanadiumV</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 3:43pm<b>lurch87</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:13am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 4:41am<b>No_tag</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:49pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 12:05pm<b>Bloink</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 12:52am<b>DemolitionLovers</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 1:14am<b>VibratingMeerkat</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 11:59pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 8:51am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 7:46pm

GuessWhatKids's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of GuessWhatKids's badges

GuessWhatKids's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17658) - you deserved it (36416)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML

#15754863
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (4449)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by ihaveahome (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48617) - you deserved it (8006)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

#14739407
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25148) - you deserved it (5175)

On 01/28/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by snappyPi -

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

#13274240
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24045) - you deserved it (10278)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14016) - you deserved it (33145)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30099) - you deserved it (8361)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15437) - you deserved it (21216)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25206) - you deserved it (3417)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

#4970470
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38376) - you deserved it (14360)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:30am - health - by pussyOUT (man) - United States

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56746) - you deserved it (3505)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94437) - you deserved it (19961)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

#442796
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75346) - you deserved it (27797)

On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: