About GuessWhatKids : I like weed and underground hip hop. If my comment was bad or pissed you off, good. The hivemind tendencies here in FML are so ridiculous that I consider even the most outrageous comments beneficial simply for their deviation from the norm. More people hop on bandwagons here than Reddit, amazingly.
GuessWhatKids's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
GuessWhatKids's favorite FMLs
Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy
by failure as a parent / 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by me / 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML
by revan546 / 04/26/2013 at 9:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals
Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML
by neighbour hell / 04/25/2013 at 1:56pm / Norway (Vest-Agder) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 11:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
by goingtobeevicted / 04/25/2013 at 2:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…