About Grootensliven : I like monsters Lamborghini hockey and mountain biking.
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Grootensliven's favorite FMLs
by MeanMother / 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by hakura madada / 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by oopsies / 07/04/2011 at 5:11am / United States / Animals
Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML
by Savannah / 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
by lemonhead / 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm / Health
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
by megomania / 05/02/2011 at 9:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 3:11am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals
Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2011 at 1:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Fml24609 / 08/20/2010 at 2:20am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/25/2010 at 5:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML
by sadcat / 02/06/2010 at 10:19am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals
by Crippled / 12/27/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- Today, as I was putting on pants in the morning, I hear a crunch and soon after, a wet sensation. I… Today, I was familiarized with cartoon pain when I stepped on a soap in my shower and broke my arm.… Today, i bought two $2 scratch off lotto tickets for my friend and i, he won $500 i won nothing. FML