About Grootensliven : I like monsters Lamborghini hockey and mountain biking.
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Mobility
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Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14959) - you deserved it (31118)
On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (8186)
On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king sized bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (3918)
On 08/20/2010 at 2:20am - love - by Fml24609 - United States (New York)
Today, was the third day of my camping trip with my "friends". I woke up in my boxers with my hand glued to my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (4705)
On 06/25/2010 at 5:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (9779)
On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (2007)
On 12/27/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Crippled (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33187) - you deserved it (1785)
On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27080) - you deserved it (1674)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6207) - you deserved it (31524)
On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a call from my ex asking if I could fix her computer. I brought my 7 year old son with me. On the way I told him, how I hated her, but I can't be rude. Once we get there, I say to her "it's nice to see you." My son says "but I thought you said you want her to fall off a bridge?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6207) - you deserved it (31524)
On 11/08/2009 at 8:08pm - kids - by Dan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was taking the bus to work and it was a rather bumpy ride. The child sitting across from me asked her mom if her chin moves like mine when the bus goes up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16858) - you deserved it (4430)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:40pm - misc - by mandy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh... Thats actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (6064)
On 10/17/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by oopsjsp90 (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27808) - you deserved it (9881)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (2680)
On 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm - animals - by gera3gera - United States (California)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40857) - you deserved it (2980)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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