About Grootensliven : I like monsters Lamborghini hockey and mountain biking.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14363) - you deserved it (31454)
On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6428) - you deserved it (16852)
On 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm - animals - by ambushcat - United States
Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25036) - you deserved it (2175)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20594) - you deserved it (3335)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20027) - you deserved it (3568)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, an attractive guy asked me to get coffee with him. My response was, "I don't drink coffee." I just turned down the first guy that's asked me out in 3 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6131) - you deserved it (30674)
On 06/28/2012 at 5:55pm - love - by sierra - United States
Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4292) - you deserved it (57509)
On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)
Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5345) - you deserved it (14434)
On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, my constant bragging to friends caught up with me, and everyone believes I'm a swinger. Because of this, no girl wants to go out with me, in case they become just another notch under my belt. The truth is, I'm still a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8194) - you deserved it (67122)
On 07/23/2011 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (2429)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (1890)
On 07/04/2011 at 5:11am - animals - by oopsies - United States
Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6992) - you deserved it (44089)
On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17620) - you deserved it (31127)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (3003)
On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37748) - you deserved it (2852)
On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
