Grootensliven

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Offline (the 03/12/2015 at 5:10pm)

Grootensliven

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2705
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Grootensliven : I like monsters Lamborghini hockey and mountain biking.

Grootensliven's page activity

Visits<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 11:05am<b>axfabxdisaster</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:36am<b>oops6663</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:01pm<b>imdone2008</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:01am<b>iTzCole03</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:44am<b>marulicko</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:15am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:20am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:18am<b>Etched</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:11pm<b>TheMarshmellow</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:57pm<b>itsjohannna</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 11:52pm<b>mareegiraffe19</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Justified12</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:35pm<b>junkman6</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:33pm<b>SaintJupiter</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 2:57am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 1:30pm<b>stj5249</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 11:55pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:36pm

Grootensliven's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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Grootensliven's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

by smashed / 09/24/2012 at 10:33am / United States / Kids

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Kids

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

by jitiizer / 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm / Netherlands (Friesland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

by Missusluv313 / 09/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

by great / 07/20/2012 at 6:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

by great / 07/20/2012 at 6:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

by ambushcat / 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Animals

Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2012 at 7:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

by fuckjuggalos / 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, an attractive guy asked me to get coffee with him. My response was, "I don't drink coffee." I just turned down the first guy that's asked me out in 3 months. FML

by sierra / 06/28/2012 at 5:55pm / United States / Love