Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Grootensliven

Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 9:19am) | Search for a member

Grootensliven

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1445
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Grootensliven : I like monsters Lamborghini hockey and mountain biking.

Grootensliven's page activity

Visits<b>imdone2008</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:01am<b>iTzCole03</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:44am<b>marulicko</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:15am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:20am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:18am<b>Etched</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:11pm<b>TheMarshmellow</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:57pm<b>itsjohannna</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 11:52pm<b>mareegiraffe19</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Justified12</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:35pm<b>junkman6</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:33pm<b>SaintJupiter</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 2:57am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 1:30pm<b>stj5249</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 11:55pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:40am<b>MiachelaAnn</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:24pm<b>djcayo</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:37pm<b>itsame0987</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 1:05am

Grootensliven's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Grootensliven's badges

Grootensliven's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40974) - you deserved it (6082)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

#20548521
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (2760)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm - work - by Ihatemyjob (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27854) - you deserved it (4942)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41367) - you deserved it (3832)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (45513)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (4973)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39198) - you deserved it (10353)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33751) - you deserved it (7726)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29667) - you deserved it (4978)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11784) - you deserved it (35458)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47758) - you deserved it (3569) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML

#20484952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28837) - you deserved it (6289)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40234) - you deserved it (9581)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: