Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Grootensliven

Online | Search for a member

Grootensliven

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1252
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Grootensliven : I like monsters Lamborghini hockey and mountain biking.

Grootensliven's page activity

Visits<b>imdone2008</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:01am<b>iTzCole03</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:44am<b>marulicko</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:15am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:20am<b>JVVortex</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:18am<b>Etched</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:11pm<b>TheMarshmellow</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:57pm<b>itsjohannna</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 11:52pm<b>mareegiraffe19</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 10:50pm<b>Justified12</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 6:35pm<b>junkman6</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:33pm<b>SaintJupiter</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 2:57am<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 1:30pm<b>stj5249</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 11:55pm<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:40am<b>MiachelaAnn</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:24pm<b>djcayo</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:37pm<b>itsame0987</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 1:05am

Grootensliven's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Grootensliven's badges

Grootensliven's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49126) - you deserved it (21241)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57409) - you deserved it (7984)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44002) - you deserved it (2495)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57110) - you deserved it (3376)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (109266)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML

#20879963
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39223) - you deserved it (9800)

On 09/13/2013 at 6:24pm - work - by Volunteer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53614) - you deserved it (4009)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54606) - you deserved it (17020)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49177) - you deserved it (4660)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (3055)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53896) - you deserved it (13414)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45051) - you deserved it (4495)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79599) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52496) - you deserved it (11873)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67213) - you deserved it (9178)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: