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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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GregTheWang

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GregTheWang
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3914
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (10383) - you deserved it (5019)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877 (362)

I agree, your life sucks (32595) - you deserved it (21506)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474 (488)

I agree, your life sucks (36833) - you deserved it (6108)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (4494)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (3258)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (44791) - you deserved it (7788)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

#13969398 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (11619) - you deserved it (16269)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (12149) - you deserved it (23196)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

#13442740 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (1982)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by tman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (16044) - you deserved it (10065)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (16562) - you deserved it (4973)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

#13083024 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (27686)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

#12899907 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (8226)

On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (13536) - you deserved it (20175)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (26406) - you deserved it (3549)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)