GreenMonster68

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Offline (the 11/26/2014 at 9:28pm)

GreenMonster68

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About GreenMonster68 : I'm awesome

GreenMonster68's page activity

Visits<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 4:53am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:42pm<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 7:43pm<b>choskins41</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 4:17am<b>looksasaishere</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 2:32am

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GreenMonster68's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, due to a hammer-related incident, instead of receiving glass ornaments as gifts from my trip to Venice, my friends will be receiving novelty postcards of Michelangelo's David's penis. FML

by Stop_HammerTime / 08/04/2014 at 9:51am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Holidays

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

by poopiter / 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

by good_aim / 07/27/2013 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2011 at 8:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

by moon_paw / 11/28/2009 at 11:17am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I texted my brother saying "Always remember I love you! Never forget it!" to which he answered: "You better not be doing drugs." FML

by Lovelysister / 10/21/2009 at 7:21pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML

by kissless / 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

by skmusic / 04/09/2009 at 1:04am / Canada (Manitoba) / Love