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GreenBeast

Offline (the 03/26/2014 at 3:06pm) | Search for a member

GreenBeast

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 August 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 606
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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GreenBeast's page activity

Visits<b>PandaPrincess4</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:07am<b>Inediblepeaches</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 7:15am<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:53pm<b>ThatGuyWhoTalks</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:08am<b>sleaves</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:17pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:29am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:30am<b>kaffeeine</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:17am<b>troutbum</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:44pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 5:43pm<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 1:19pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 10:32pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 9:48pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:50pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 1:37am

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GreenBeast's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (3328)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42648) - you deserved it (6404)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45172) - you deserved it (6458)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25267) - you deserved it (55436)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22511) - you deserved it (33284) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

#21060563
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52926) - you deserved it (5033)

On 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by accident (man) - United States (California)

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

#21023843
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48707) - you deserved it (7560)

On 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by lukas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43936) - you deserved it (5278)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42535) - you deserved it (2503)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42154) - you deserved it (2337)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while working as a cashier, a really cute guy came up and said, "Hi Morgan". I freaked out and asked him how he knew my name. He then replied, "You have a name tag". FML

#20874687
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31658) - you deserved it (17392)

On 09/09/2013 at 5:51pm - work - by anon -

Today, I suggestively asked my boyfriend to take a shower with me. He got in, washed himself, and got out, ignoring me the whole time. FML

#20852722
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49654) - you deserved it (7201)

On 08/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by -.- - United States

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

#20810724
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56091) - you deserved it (8792)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50722) - you deserved it (6460)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (49095)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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