About Gravenmuir : My profile picture basically explains it all. Stupid people piss me off. Don't mess with me. “Y'all" is my favorite word. Deal with it. It's who I am, and I'm proud of it. Dismissed.
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Gravenmuir's favorite FMLs
by I warned him / 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML
by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) / 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML
by AsianSensation / 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by naladetet / 11/23/2014 at 3:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML
by drop dead single / 11/22/2014 at 8:44am / United States / Love
Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML
by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML
by shatfjord / 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm / United States (New York) / Work
by SadMother / 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by camerashyguy / 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme / 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by NoConfusion / 09/14/2014 at 8:53am / United States (California) / Love
by Jamestown of Vagina / 09/13/2014 at 10:36am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by UghDude / 09/06/2014 at 9:35am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…