GrandeFluffy

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GrandeFluffy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 381
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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GrandeFluffy's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

by mista_sandy / 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

by analeis / 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Health

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

by justgreat / 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

by FootyFoot / 03/06/2012 at 6:50am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

by wtbfiber / 03/05/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Health

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

by DyingPlants / 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I reached the point in my life where Target is the "expensive" store. FML

by anti88 / 08/31/2011 at 9:55pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML

by Peekaboo / 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 2:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

by soccerbuddyz / 08/03/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

by life_isnt_fair / 03/09/2011 at 3:27am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I allowed my friend to practice driving in my car. As she began to let the car roll forward, she looked at me and very seriously asked, "Brakes is the right pedal, right?" FML

by holly10350 / 10/13/2010 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation