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Grand_Cookie

Offline (the 04/30/2015 at 8:09am) | Search for a member

Grand_Cookie

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17772
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>jessenia123</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:35am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 1:48am<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:20pm<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:23am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:06am<b>happy2468</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:17pm<b>raynedropps</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:26am<b>roo94</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 4:08pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>spookyboy</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 5:57am<b>sarahmsw20</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:52am<b>chode124</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:35pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:20pm<b>Epickiller</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:45am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:07pm<b>rmb1200</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:34pm<b>kiante99</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 9:55am<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:27am

Fucked!<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:20pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

#14526160
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37403) - you deserved it (5497)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

#14521055
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22117) - you deserved it (3475)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML

#14515582
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36155) - you deserved it (7019)

On 01/09/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML

#14503708
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65231) - you deserved it (3830)

On 01/08/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by sad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed like a great deal, so I immediately accepted and moved to my new seat. I didn't realize my new neighbor was an old man with a raging boner. FML

#14497966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28650) - you deserved it (12901)

On 01/07/2011 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

#14497096
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8182) - you deserved it (39377)

On 01/07/2011 at 1:14pm - health - by ouchieouch (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if my ass looked big in my new jeans. He looked, and then started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie". FML

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

#14149224
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12209) - you deserved it (37091)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by 479firefighter -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18354) - you deserved it (40153)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (5087)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50473) - you deserved it (2961)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

#3907328
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (3262)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm - health - by KnuckleSandwich (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

#2874076
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37494) - you deserved it (58672)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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