Grand_Cookie

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Offline (the 09/21/2016 at 8:08am)

Grand_Cookie

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 23444
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>GarfieldDaCat</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 3:57am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 12:18am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 8:05am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:37am<b>Mons</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:36am<b>CJ77</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 3:16am<b>Lionel2174</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 3:07am<b>Arnvs</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 8:19pm<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 4:34pm<b>simplyme486</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 7:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:01pm<b>tikatica</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 12:57pm<b>TheSenorPenguino</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 2:26pm<b>jdonofs</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 5:59am<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:53am<b>Gruffplatypus87</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:27am<b>Noah98</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 1:41pm

Fucked!<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:02am<b>rhiley</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:49am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>ceciliebossow</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:05am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:02am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:20pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

by mortified / 01/22/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

by fmlalways / 01/22/2011 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

by Theaccident / 01/22/2011 at 5:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

by sandra22 / 01/22/2011 at 3:49am / Miscellaneous

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

by sandra22 / 01/22/2011 at 3:49am / Miscellaneous

Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / Belgium / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Health

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy