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Grand_Cookie

Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 10:09am) | Search for a member

Grand_Cookie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9814
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:24am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:43am<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:21pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:38am<b>normal_shy_kid</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:13am<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:25am<b>abattior</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:10pm<b>hai_baylee_here</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:51pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:09pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:33pm<b>bubblesBVB61113</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:29am<b>pj6444</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:22pm<b>JackDaddy13</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:01am<b>__juanito__</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 2:18am<b>zearow</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:33am<b>hopsinlove17</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:12pm<b>Dramori</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:38am<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 2:49pm

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45863) - you deserved it (7536)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

#16216813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9312) - you deserved it (46325)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

#16161340
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41453) - you deserved it (3816)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by Uhmm... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41366) - you deserved it (17435)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13007) - you deserved it (56185)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (46980)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML

#16066360
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15649) - you deserved it (48143)

On 05/06/2011 at 10:07am - intimacy - by eringoBRA (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

#16054918
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11094) - you deserved it (42712)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

#16052979
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (4630)

On 05/05/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by asadwa -

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (4394)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting funny looks all day. When I got home I realised that I was interrupted while doing my make-up this morning and completely forgot to fill in my second eye brow. FML

#16046636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15132) - you deserved it (24262)

On 05/04/2011 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (5211)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, I finished working a 70 hour work week. I'm a lineman for the electric company, and worked extended hours all week getting people's lights back on after a wind storm. When I got home, my power was out. FML

#16032358
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37883) - you deserved it (2736)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by LightsOut - United States

Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML

#16031811
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you deserved it (3388)

On 05/03/2011 at 12:32pm - love - by moetplease - Singapore

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML



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Thursday 11 September 2014

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