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Grand_Cookie

Offline (the 11/29/2014 at 6:29am) | Search for a member

Grand_Cookie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12343
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>breccafis</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:18am<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 9:01pm<b>OkapiParade</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 8:11pm<b>iNDy85</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:39am<b>pooldude</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:35pm<b>josh2014</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 11:18pm<b>randome101</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:13pm<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:44pm<b>clawsunsheathed</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:19pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:58pm<b>galactictoast13</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:46pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:29am<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:30pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:24am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:43am<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:21pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:38am<b>normal_shy_kid</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:13am

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML

#19400552
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (2029)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:10am - work - by beagle1 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

#19393647
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (2002)

On 04/02/2012 at 4:38am - work - by minimum wage (man) - Canada

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

#19369431
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (1805)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by a - United States

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

#19367140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (1780)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm - misc - by neverthesame - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (3269)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

#19354471
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (1933)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (5862)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10506) - you deserved it (32149)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (12722)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

#19271086
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (3608)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29045) - you deserved it (6051)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7035) - you deserved it (33292)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML

#19261756
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24748) - you deserved it (3967)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:28am - work - by titillating (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (5750)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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