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Grand_Cookie

Offline (the 04/30/2015 at 8:09am) | Search for a member

Grand_Cookie

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 19065
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>FriskyBananas</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:18pm<b>r1has</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 1:23am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:46pm<b>mineller</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:43pm<b>a816090</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:00am<b>laurellkawes</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:14pm<b>TTesla</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 8:21pm<b>asslover061981</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:46pm<b>skelly_v</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 11:33am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 2:31pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 5:49am<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 4:09pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 4:43pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 1:36pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:22am<b>ceciliebossow</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 6:05pm<b>desd428</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 7:39pm

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:49am<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:43pm<b>ceciliebossow</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:05am<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:02am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 6:20pm<b>truecowboy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 6:10am

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

#19470804
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36139) - you deserved it (13252)

On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you deserved it (6300)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

#19464550
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26231) - you deserved it (4116)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

#19447038
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10884) - you deserved it (25672)

On 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40338) - you deserved it (3156)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30845) - you deserved it (2847)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

#19434982
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (35254)

On 04/09/2012 at 4:28am - animals - by stupidbug. (man) - Canada

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (2587)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

#19408949
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14527) - you deserved it (19453)

On 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (39557)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a strange lady following me around in the mall. After a while I began to get creeped out, so I confronted her. Apparently she has to make sure everything she buys is better than what I buy. After a long silence she said, "What? You never noticed me before?" FML

#19404370
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (2275)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:40pm - misc - by Eliza - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29429) - you deserved it (2229)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML

#19400552
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (2265)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:10am - work - by beagle1 (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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