Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Grand_Cookie

Offline (the 10/08/2014 at 4:41am) | Search for a member

Grand_Cookie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10690
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Grand_Cookie : I'm the gorilla, so don't ask.

Blah blah blah, random facts about me. Blah blah blah, other stuff i like. Blah blah blah, some inspirational quote. Blah blah, purple unicorns, blah.

Redheads>Jesus

Grand_Cookie's page activity

Visits<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:44pm<b>clawsunsheathed</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:19pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 6:58pm<b>galactictoast13</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 7:46pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 12:29am<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:30pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:24am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:43am<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:21pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:38am<b>normal_shy_kid</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:13am<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:25am<b>hai_baylee_here</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:51pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:09pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 1:33pm<b>bubblesBVB61113</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:29am<b>pj6444</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 11:22pm<b>JackDaddy13</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 4:01am

Grand_Cookie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Grand_Cookie's badges

Grand_Cookie's favorite FMLs

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (4732)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States

Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML

#20145644
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (1720)

On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33070) - you deserved it (2344)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (4068)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22725) - you deserved it (2849)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (1835)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20166) - you deserved it (1261)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23385) - you deserved it (5176)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23906) - you deserved it (2026)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (9151)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75010) - you deserved it (8779)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19988) - you deserved it (3166)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39706) - you deserved it (1840)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: