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GraffitiStreets

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GraffitiStreets

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 58
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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GraffitiStreets's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51847) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40953) - you deserved it (8053)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47029) - you deserved it (9179)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39699) - you deserved it (3512)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50366) - you deserved it (4429)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (4257)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46969) - you deserved it (4066)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54903) - you deserved it (64022)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43445) - you deserved it (25370)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29453) - you deserved it (23300)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (3413)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37108) - you deserved it (3993)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6858) - you deserved it (46815)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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