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Grace598's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by omgreally91 / 10/12/2011 at 7:39pm / United States / Health
Today, I took my new iPhone into a technician to complain that when people called me, the audio was very quiet and muffled. Convinced it was a fault, I demanded a replacement. That is when he peeled off the factory issued protective screen that covered the ear piece. FML
by ss / 09/06/2011 at 9:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
by whatdidIdo / 09/03/2011 at 1:33am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
by James / 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 9:26pm / Israel / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
by ninalian / 05/22/2011 at 2:30am / United States (Puerto Rico) / Health
Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very… Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake… Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she…