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Gr33bSt3ph

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Gr33bSt3ph

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Visits<b>pandaboy123</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 8:25am

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Gr33bSt3ph's favorite FMLs

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (6233)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30137) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML

#21295420
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (4649)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML

#21295090
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32466) - you deserved it (4190)

On 11/08/2014 at 11:06pm - kids - by NoBabies - United States (Arizona)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (3397)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (3093)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36107) - you deserved it (2402)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (6105)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41018) - you deserved it (6384)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

#21291418
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (4371)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm - misc - by Isa_Marie0113 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33054) - you deserved it (4874)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

#21290447
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30772) - you deserved it (9210)

On 11/02/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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