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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I am defending a client on trial for perjury. She is a sweet girl and the first person I've loved in years, but she keeps doing everything she can to make herself look guilty in front of the jury. Now I'm having a daily crisis of conscience in the middle of the courtroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12796) - you deserved it (3582)
On 05/09/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by chieftain (man) - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15386) - you deserved it (1292)
On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37311) - you deserved it (6755)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14473) - you deserved it (1492)
On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (1676)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by gutted (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (3445)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7775) - you deserved it (116952)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31366) - you deserved it (3021)
On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (4921)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Bridget (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15532) - you deserved it (2910)
On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12725) - you deserved it (2951)
On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8332) - you deserved it (26585)
On 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by mhm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13937) - you deserved it (25290)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28398) - you deserved it (1554) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -
Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13873) - you deserved it (3163)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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