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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13015
  • Number of comments : 379
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

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Googolman's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML


I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (1918)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (1703)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (8555)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (2216)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30420) - you deserved it (2391)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML


I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (2002)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got home from the hospital after I burned my hand. Why? I dropped my phone in the pot while stirring hot soup, and I reached in to get it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7546) - you deserved it (37377)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:45am - health - by scooter922 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML


I agree, your life sucks (6526) - you deserved it (51750)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (3276)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33543) - you deserved it (3973)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML


I agree, your life sucks (27874) - you deserved it (1874)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34026) - you deserved it (5446)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17139) - you deserved it (29793)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (3636)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24525) - you deserved it (2358)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

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