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Googolman

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Googolman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5359
  • Number of comments : 289
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

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Googolman's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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Googolman's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15622) - you deserved it (25933)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (4317)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (4621)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16667) - you deserved it (1671)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

#20026833
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (1514)

On 08/17/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

#20007867
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17077) - you deserved it (10615)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:17pm - work - by Employee (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32194) - you deserved it (1595)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

#20000913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16929) - you deserved it (1670)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

#19991299
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30248) - you deserved it (1510)

On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (7953)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25633) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (2089)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got home from the hospital after I burned my hand. Why? I dropped my phone in the pot while stirring hot soup, and I reached in to get it. FML

#19940108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6743) - you deserved it (34901)

On 07/15/2012 at 3:45am - health - by scooter922 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5412) - you deserved it (47593)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)



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