About GoodLookingGeese : I'm too old 4 this s^it..
Little persistent aren't you?
Well bug off...
or I'll call Mr.Obvious for help!
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11713) - you deserved it (22008)
On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (16912)
On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71658) - you deserved it (9144)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13777) - you deserved it (163151)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, to save money, I bought some meat in bulk. When I got home, I was told that power to the neighborhood was out, and probably would be for days. Rather than let the meat rot, I barbecued it all and gave it away to my neighbors. The power came on while everyone was eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22455) - you deserved it (2720)
On 09/09/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by SoCalStoopid (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (1825)
On 09/07/2011 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by lolomg (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (1565)
On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25825) - you deserved it (3682)
On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29391) - you deserved it (3956)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (2671)
On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (6018)
On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
I agree, your life sucks (22163) - you deserved it (1733)
On 08/20/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by anonymous22kittylicklick (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35039) - you deserved it (2072)
On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (15489)
On 08/19/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19884) - you deserved it (2348)
On 08/18/2011 at 10:10pm - love - by ddeit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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