About Gondile : I am a monument to all your sins.
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Gondile's favorite FMLs
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
by StinkyDogs / 03/27/2011 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
by fufu_mutt / 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by PissyPants / 06/20/2010 at 1:12am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML
by OnlyIfYouLoveMe / 11/23/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
by FilthyIke / 08/21/2009 at 4:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML
by Lee / 06/21/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few… Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made… Today, I just found out that my brother in law and his wife frequent a swingers establishment that…