About Gondile : I am a monument to all your sins.
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Gondile's favorite FMLs
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
by firestar772 / 02/11/2013 at 10:48am / United States (California) / Animals
by Nyquilwtf / 09/23/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Health
by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I got a letter of complaint from my landlord. It said my loud, obnoxious trampling is disturbing my downstairs neighbor, and I have to stop. I'm small and hardly weigh anything, but it seems that if I want to keep my lease, I'll have to master the art of levitating. FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm / Vietnam (Ha Noi) / Work
by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML
by Mirorbo / 06/11/2011 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Work
by e_edge / 06/05/2011 at 2:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by dumped / 06/05/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
by diddlebuag / 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
- Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the… Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our… Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing…