Goldzilluh

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Offline (the 05/20/2016 at 5:18am)

Goldzilluh

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 353
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Goldzilluh's page activity

Visits<b>stuckintime</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 5:39pm<b>darkniss</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 11:03pm<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 5:31am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 2:16pm<b>HonestMistakes07</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 12:00pm<b>pred8885</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 9:34am<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 12:39am<b>bigwell</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:40pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:58pm<b>Jxce</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:46pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:00pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:04pm<b>bluejay69</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 9:41am<b>BlakeMHS</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 9:01am<b>goatcheese4you</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 7:03am<b>djayy9011</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 6:55am

Goldzilluh's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Goldzilluh's badges

Goldzilluh's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

by ThunderThighs / 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 11:20am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

by lonely / 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm / United States / Love