Goldenberry

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Goldenberry

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 April 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 757
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Goldenberry : I come on FML when I'm bored. I love touch rugby, track and field, and gymnastics. I love writing and reading. I hate cookies and ice cream and cake. I love singing and drawing. I love animals. Hmm... What else? Oh yeah and I wish I was a shape-shifter. Mhm that's about it.

Goldenberry's page activity

Visits<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 11:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 12:41am<b>HelloHolaBonjour</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 5:40pm<b>poppynoble</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 7:33pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:34pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 5:15pm<b>IHeartMinecraft</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:51pm<b>Astrophysics</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 9:57pm<b>votingcoffee</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 7:34am<b>THEDUDE1553566</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:16pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:30am<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:13pm<b>TrashSnail</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:41pm<b>Helios90255</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:13am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:50am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 8:54am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 11:47pm

Fucked!<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 5:15am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:40am<b>Astrophysics</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:57am

Goldenberry's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Goldenberry's badges

Goldenberry's favorite FMLs

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

by Parental Support / 08/30/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm / United States / Work

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

by poopiter / 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

by yoggabe / 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm / Mexico (Tabasco) / Kids

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money