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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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GoldenWonton

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GoldenWonton
  • Town/Country : houston, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 March 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3682
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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GoldenWonton's favorite FMLs

Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML

#5860815 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (5853)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:18am - work - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while meeting guys from my dad's work, they told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

#5857727 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (4642)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML

#5853326 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (14077) - you deserved it (28739)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I accepted a great job offer I've been working months to earn so I can continue to live with my fiance here in Poland. I just found out that my work visa was denied. Now I have to fly home to Canada and reapply before coming back. This takes a month. My new job starts tomorrow. FML

#5831738 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (20168) - you deserved it (1985)

On 10/14/2009 at 6:03pm - work - by zlotytarasy (man) - Poland (Warszawa)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

#5830310 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (5394) - you deserved it (22283)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I walked into a T-Mobile store to get a new phone. I wanted all of my numbers on my new phone, but the customer service rep had to transfer them. He said jokingly, "I understand. You don't want to lose your girlfriend's number." My girlfriend and I broke up two days ago. FML

#5829686 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (5160)

On 10/14/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

#5829001 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (21456) - you deserved it (1319)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66548) - you deserved it (9417)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

#5827386 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (2073)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:19am - love - by DumpedHisAss (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

#5827048 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (4939)

On 10/14/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by thelandofoz - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play his XBOX360 for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

#5826469 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (28316) - you deserved it (3432)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:00am - health - by tooflufoschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it. FML

#5825697 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (1513)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:20am - misc - by flipraff101 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I won an award at school for my hard work. Afterwards, my parents told me off. Why? They wanted my brother to get it instead of me. FML

#5825419 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (957)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML

#5824297 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (1175)

On 10/14/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by kidneystoner - United States (Texas)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (15709) - you deserved it (8434)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version