GoldenGal

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Offline (the 10/07/2014 at 12:31am)

GoldenGal

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 249
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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GoldenGal's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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GoldenGal's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

by FarmerGirl / 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

by lylethomes15 / 04/21/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Maine) / Animals

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML

by fannylovesfelix / 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

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