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GoldFishPony

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GoldFishPony

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 344
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Visits<b>BrittMarie6580</b> - 12 hours ago

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GoldFishPony's favorite FMLs

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (4728)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32718) - you deserved it (6596) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33922) - you deserved it (7447)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37144) - you deserved it (3200)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

#21234785
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34148) - you deserved it (2951)

On 08/11/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by welptimetoburntheplacedown (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43307) - you deserved it (5335)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47964) - you deserved it (20890)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33615) - you deserved it (22335)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38476) - you deserved it (6686)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (6151)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (61935)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45660) - you deserved it (3849)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51661) - you deserved it (5970)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50167) - you deserved it (4697)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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