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GoldFishPony

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GoldFishPony

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 March 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 269
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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GoldFishPony's favorite FMLs

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14300) - you deserved it (2329)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (3054)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (51838)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37644) - you deserved it (3297)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46047) - you deserved it (5329)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47017) - you deserved it (4570)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML

#21218720
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (7424)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52964) - you deserved it (40559)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38626) - you deserved it (6470)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32154) - you deserved it (20636)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51074) - you deserved it (8059)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52192) - you deserved it (10580)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49845) - you deserved it (6582)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45749) - you deserved it (7869)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)



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