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Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44828) - you deserved it (2506)
On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15857) - you deserved it (6506)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (1700)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you deserved it (18233)
On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11356) - you deserved it (32823)
On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18197) - you deserved it (49523)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25574) - you deserved it (3315)
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45958) - you deserved it (5587)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (4783)
On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27477) - you deserved it (8576)
On 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm - kids - by stargirl - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (5404)
On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36288) - you deserved it (5824)
On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32090) - you deserved it (9754)
On 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46123) - you deserved it (14704)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34941) - you deserved it (2443)
On 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm - health - by wastedbaby - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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