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Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20711) - you deserved it (3699)
On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18420) - you deserved it (32081)
On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45485) - you deserved it (3599)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14284) - you deserved it (40967) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43143) - you deserved it (11802)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (4338) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (4169)
On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19912) - you deserved it (15044)
Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6701) - you deserved it (28409)
On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25333) - you deserved it (10753)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26334) - you deserved it (3023)
On 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30506) - you deserved it (2071)
On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47880) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (2947)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (1178)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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