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Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10536) - you deserved it (18174)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25468) - you deserved it (3171)
On 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Emily - United States (Indiana)
Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (2607)
On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (1586)
On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8556) - you deserved it (66039)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7695) - you deserved it (49122)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47421) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26543) - you deserved it (4027)
On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9349) - you deserved it (42203)
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22831) - you deserved it (2005)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States
Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27954) - you deserved it (8706)
On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was eating cereal while absentmindedly reading the box. I was amused when I found it expires on my birthday. Then I realized it expired on my birthday two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12063) - you deserved it (16858)
On 11/19/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by jerdub93 - United States (California)
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29633) - you deserved it (16877)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States
Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (7072)
On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (3210)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:01am - love - by Tom - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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