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Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (3472)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I saw a picture of a dude on a Harley on my friend's wall. I asked her if it was Dog the bounty hunter. It wasn't, it was her aunt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13855) - you deserved it (2831)
On 04/23/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by GogoTheGreat - United States (Texas)
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14173) - you deserved it (24763)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9701) - you deserved it (39870) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15037) - you deserved it (6836)
On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17932) - you deserved it (1144)
On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)
Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18950) - you deserved it (2523)
On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (4320)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (4124)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5547) - you deserved it (46670)
On 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Alison (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10582) - you deserved it (35210)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (38428)
On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (6927)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13949) - you deserved it (20570)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (1762)
On 02/12/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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