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Mobility
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Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41935) - you deserved it (4262)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (20194)
On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91041) - you deserved it (7449)
On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56984) - you deserved it (4067)
On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178530) - you deserved it (61545)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11622) - you deserved it (65024)
On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21711) - you deserved it (42874)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)
Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (39986)
On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (134587) - you deserved it (37254)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69038) - you deserved it (20087)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8816) - you deserved it (61019)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response, "...I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10190) - you deserved it (18140)
On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response, "...I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10190) - you deserved it (18140)
On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32018) - you deserved it (26006)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5432) - you deserved it (15485)
On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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