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Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33117) - you deserved it (4966)
On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (2304)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7046) - you deserved it (42732)
On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44000) - you deserved it (3610)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44000) - you deserved it (3610)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33350) - you deserved it (4700)
On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (3005)
On 06/26/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by ugly - United States
Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother in law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (2363)
On 06/20/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by firethorn - United States (Texas)
Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (2325)
On 06/19/2011 at 1:19am - work - by fattymcbutterpants - United States
Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (2946)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (43835)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (43835)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21688) - you deserved it (8345)
On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33225) - you deserved it (3323)
On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42862) - you deserved it (6041)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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