About Goddess_Rummy : FML is really beginning to suck. =\
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28688) - you deserved it (6736)
On 07/09/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20250) - you deserved it (9009)
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40465) - you deserved it (6546)
On 06/22/2011 at 4:13am - intimacy - by fmlguy382 - United States
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (58375)
On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56999) - you deserved it (5786)
On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15619) - you deserved it (47381)
On 03/19/2011 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12619) - you deserved it (36117)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19806) - you deserved it (2722)
On 02/11/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (2674)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (4096)
On 01/17/2011 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8550) - you deserved it (17599)
On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)
Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40475) - you deserved it (4332)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (4769)
On 12/04/2010 at 6:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51130) - you deserved it (9746)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (37224)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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