About Goddess_Rummy : FML is really beginning to suck. =\
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (3917)
On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7721) - you deserved it (30336)
On 08/14/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by MC (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20709) - you deserved it (6996)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (8637)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31970) - you deserved it (10229)
On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (1816)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23515) - you deserved it (2704)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28641) - you deserved it (2480)
On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I went to El Pollo Loco for the $10.00 special. I ordered from the pimple-faced kid at the register, pulled out two fives, and he said, "That'll be 9.70, I gave you the senior discount." I'm 10 years away from that. Thank you? FML
I agree, your life sucks (20780) - you deserved it (4472)
On 07/28/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by Not That Old (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (5908)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30309) - you deserved it (3971)
On 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (5593)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37855) - you deserved it (3556)
On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107160) - you deserved it (5823)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (16314)
On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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